Apparently, there’s some kind of government conspiracy to give us all skin cancer, so we have to jones all the way to the state of Canada to get a meroxyl fix for our skin.

“Ultraviolet A light ages your skin. And the reason it does that, it’s a longer wavelength, so it can penetrate deeper into the skin, and instead of attacking the upper layers of the skin where skin cancer often forms, it attacks the layers that give your skin its tone, its elasticity, as we call it. … You get the lines, the wrinkles, all the things associated from aging,” said Dr. Darrell Rigel, clinical professor of dermatology at New York University.

Meroxyl will supposedly keep this aging process from happening. I’m going to test it on Pierre in hopes that he won’t freckle anymore. It’s gotta work, right? I mean, Canada’s got some of the whitest people in the world.