Doesn’t she know that after watching Project Runway none of us wants to “Work Out“? No, all of us out there in tv land just want to turn off the tube and start stapling random objects around the house to a dress dummy (”What is that?! A spider? It’ll make a great brotch, stick it on!”). I mean, I’ll still watch the show, but only from behind my sewing machine.

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Built by Wendy recently came out with a series of Simplicity patterns that you can buy online that includes jacket, pants, top, and shirt patterns. This comes with a Built by YOU contest where us “designers” can submit photos of our creations and receive a $100 gift certificate (which can either buy you a pair of socks at Built By Wendy or just barely cover the cost of tax of your purchase. I love you Wendy Mullin, but I did not want to conserve energy this summer by not paying the bill).

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Because of my petite stature, the patterns are virtually useless to me. She has, however, a book coming out in September that I hope will satisfy my wardrobe and appease the closet gods.

And if that doesn’t work, I’m going to “continue my education” this fall at Otis taking “Introduction to Apparel Construction” with Ben, my BFF (best boy friend). From September to December, I’ll be giving up my Saturday afternoons and $365 to drive to downtown LA and staple things to a dress dummy (”What is that?! A homeless person! He’ll make a great hat!”). And with the discounts I’m getting on the class (-$50 for signing up before  the Aug. 20 Open House & -$50 for being a KCRW member), I’d really only have to borrow money from 2 people in my life.